Monthly Archives: December 2013

New Year, New Me…. Same old Facebook!

Facebook

There are times when I love Facebook and there are times when I hate it. I hate Facebook when I get constant updates from people asking me to play tedious online games and when people upload pictures of their food. I hate Facebook when people leave statuses that are clearly designed to initiate a response. You know the ones I mean, theres probably one sitting on your newsfeed right now. “Why do I bother” “I can’t believe he’s done it again” “Is it really supposed to double in size” that kind of thing. People are lured into responding, not because they care about the person, they’re just plain nosey!

There are also times when I love Facebook and the period around Christmas and New Year is when I fall back in love with it. Christmas is great because there is so much positivity and everyone just seems happy to be off of work and relaxing with their family and friends. The New Year is even better because the twenty four hours either side of midnight, you often get to see the very best of people and the very worst of them. As I scrolled through my news feed leading up to and then entering the New Year last year, it was the perfect mix of hope and excitement, followed by the dawn of realisation.

My book “As They Slept – A Year in the Life of a Commuter” was born from an argument on Facebook and the chapter posted below took the form of a poem, created solely from the status updates on my news feed in a twenty four hour period, between New Years Eve and New Years Day.

Overworked and underpaid
Congratulations on getting engaged
Ok I’m drunk, I confess!
Work tomorrow, so depressed!
Think it’s time to clear out the loft
Watching season 5 of lost!
Housework done, time for beer
Look out people, this is my year
Surely it’s got to be gin o’clock?
Chris would like to play lucky slots
Sorry about my drunken post
Looking forward to a big fat roast
Wake me up when it’s all over
It’s 2 in the morning and I’m still sober
Chips are ready! Ketchup or Gravy?
Kim and Kanye are having a baby
Time to lose my Christmas gut!
Anyone know what time Tesco shuts?
Haven’t been this drunk in a while
Time to party gangnam style
Time to lose the Movember tash
Mosie would like to play Bingo bash
Oh my god I look like a goth
2012 can piss right off
Time to weigh in
I’m laying off gin
Lovely weather!
Yeah whatever
Ouch my head
Time for bed
Here come the tears
Happy New Year

If you want to hear more about the book, check out the You Tube video below where I talk to Vanessa Feltz on BBC Radio London

As They Slept – A Year in the Life of a Commuter is Out Now

As They Slept 1-4 cover design (ebook)

Why travelling is like peeling an Orange!

orange-peel-man-body

Travelling for me has always been just an annoying necessity. It’s the bit in the middle between having to go somewhere and actually being somewhere.

I liken it to an orange. (bear with me) Eating a fresh orange is one of life’s little pleasures, but in order to eat an orange, you first have to peel one. That annoying bit in the middle between wanting an orange and eating an orange. Don’t even get me started on the people who peel an orange while travelling….. why are they putting themselves through it?

I hear people uttering the phrase “I love travelling” all of the time and it frustrates me. I am absolutely certain that these people do not “Love travelling” at all, they simply enjoy being well travelled. It’s a very different thing. It’s like saying “I love peeling oranges” when what they actually mean is “I like eating oranges”

I appreciate that this blog post is a little orange heavy, so let’s move on. So while travelling has always been an annoying necessity for me, it has provided me with a chance to be more creative. Had I not for example, been stuck on a train with a bunch of strangers for over five hundred hours in the last year, I would not have been able to find the time (or more importantly been provided with the content) to write a bestselling book.

So my advice is simple. Don’t ever waste an opportunity to do something more creative, not even when peeling an orange.

As They Slept – A Year in the Life of a London Commuter is OUT NOW. All four parts of the bestselling series in one book (Part 1 of the bestselling series has sold over 40,000 copies and has been ranked #1 on Amazon Humour and Biographies)

As They Slept 1-4 cover design (ebook)

Click Here to view book on Amazon